Deeper Into Circumcision: An Invitation to Awareness

"A Deathblow to Denial"

Letter to Carla Miller from Eileen Marie Wayne, M.D.

"You're a live, walking, talking woman claiming to be dead ...

They carved you into a sexual zombie."

January 3, 1996

Carla Miller
Patients In ARMS
7480 Gravois
Dittmer, MO 63023

Dear Carla,

My heart goes out to you for all the suffering you have felt at the hands of your surgeons. The long surgical slices that "trimmed" your "redundant" inner labia also cut and irreversibly destroyed your sensory sex nerves to your clitoris, your remaining labia, and your perineum, forever robbing you of your birthright to total orgasmic fulfillment. Nothing can ever bring those nerves back.

It appears that your surgeons also cut your motor movement nerves to your vaginal and perineal muscles. You are paralyzed, with no ability to contract and relax those muscles. It appears they cut out the lower third of your vaginal tube, making it too short; cut off your ring opening (introitus); cut off your inner labia; and cut out a lengthwise strip of your vaginal tube, making it too narrow for you to comfortably, much less enjoyably have intercourse. Your surgeons "reconstructed" mucous membranes that make no mucus, leaving you dry, ripping apart, and bleeding. The "reconstructed" parts don't work, can feel no pleasure, yet leave you in constant pain.

You never gave signed legal consent to a Left and Right (Bilateral) Dorsal Clitoral Neurotomy (nerve cutting), Left and Right (Bilateral) Labial Neurotomy, Left and Right (Bilateral) Perineal Neurotomy, Left and Right (Bilateral) Vulvectomy, or Vertical Subtotal Vaginectomy. Cutting your sexual orgasmic sensory nerves and removing your genital tissue without valid medical indication and your signed legal consent is battery -- a crime against you, all who know and love you, and all womankind. It is ruthless rape with a knife.

You feel "dead" because your surgeons permanently destroyed your ability to experience sexual sensation. When you complained about being dead, your surgeons concealed the fact that they knowingly cut your sex nerves and altered your genitals. No one can see your severed sex nerves. The doctors you consulted were able to ignore your loss of sexual sensation because it is invisible. They told you that your remaining surgically altered tissue "looks good." This is called conspiracy, concealment, and fraud. It is illegal according to hospital bylaws, state laws, and federal laws. It is doubly illegal. It is illegal to do and illegal to cover up.

Your surgeons and others you consulted added insult to your injury by labeling you a psycho sex case. You're a live, walking, talking woman claiming to be dead.

Your damage is emotional as well as physical and psychological. You feel dead in spirit as well as body. Emotional deadness is called depression in medical language. Your deadness affects your whole life, day and night, everything you do or are too drained to do. It affects your relationships with everyone. You have all the symptoms of post-traumatic stress syndrome: depression, irritability, anger, rage, flashbacks, nightmares, and thoughts of murder and suicide.

Yes, sensory deprivation causes permanent brain damage or dysfunction. Brain atrophy or dysfunction due to sensory deprivation is well documented by Nobel Prize winners D. H. Hubel and T. N. Wiesel. The brain receptors that represent your sex nerves atrophy or become dysfunctional from disuse. Sexual thoughts, images, and especially sensations activate the limbic system, the reticular activating system, and other structures of the brain. The RAS enlivens and energizes. It enables one to concentrate. You are preoccupied, stuck in time, and have flashbacks. You have phenomenal regret. You can't concentrate or make your dreams come true. Your life is forever altered.

Your Medical Record History documents no complaint or reason that would warrant your original surgery. Your surgeon's suggestion that he repair a hernia that never bothered you is suspicious. The surgery your surgeon talked you into is not the surgery you woke up to find he had performed. You woke up to find yourself sewn so tight that you could not have intercourse or discharge your menstrual flow. It took you a year to find someone to create an artificial opening. Your subsequent "repair of the repair," and then your "repair of the repair of the repair," left you with a deformed, sexually dead but painful penile receptacle.

The word "repair" is a euphemism. You cannot be repaired. There is no legitimate procedure called a "second stage reverse perineorrhaphy." Nor is there a legitimate procedure called a "first stage reverse perineorrhaphy." There are no such procedures listed in the Current Procedural Terminology handbook. Amputation and mutilation cannot be reversed. Severed sex nerves cannot grow back. Severed pain nerves, however, do grow back, even more sensitive and sometimes with agonizing neuromas. Severed pain nerves can give you the well-known phenomenon of phantom pain.

Your Medical Record History fails to explain the procedures, reasons, expectations, success rates, alternatives, and specific risks or benefits of your surgeries. This constitutes lack of informed consent, which is medical malpractice. Some incidental procedures require no legal signed consent. An "incidental" procedure as serious as cutting your sex nerves, removing parts of your sex organs, and misaligning what's left, must be told to you and your husband in no uncertain terms. No woman, except to save her life from cancer, would ever consent to such mutilation. It is self-evident that you never gave informed consent.

I sense a profound disrespect for women in your surgeon's Physical Examination Report. The fabricated report is degrading, demeaning, and humiliating. Your surgeon's description of your physical characteristics is a statement about your surgeon's integrity, not a statement about you. The mention of "evidence" of a previous, unrelated operation is irrelevant to the surgery your surgeon was about to perform. The word "evidence" more aptly applies to your surgeon's upcoming crime. The graphic false description of the physical signs of your previous pregnancies is irrelevant and in poor taste. It is an attempt to blame your children rather than your surgeons for your trouble and to shame you into silence. Silence, shame, and blame are the sex abuser's tools. Add to these a license, the sanctity of an operating room, your trust, their betrayal, and their trivialization of your true cost in body, mind, and soul. Your surgeons legitimize and institutionalize female genital mutilation.

Your surgeon's sketchy Operative Report is unacceptable. It fails to document enough to tell what he did, much less whether he did it correctly. Your surgeon states that he removed "mucosa." Your "meat" loss comes from removing more than just mucosa.

Finally, I find no Pathology Report. Your medical record fails to document the entire specimen's size, weight, shape, color, appearance, and consistency. Your medical record also fails to document a microscopic examination of your tissue specimen. A microscopic examination might have documented that your dorsal clitoral and other sex nerves had been cut or removed. State laws and hospital bylaws mandate pathology review of all tissue removed from your body at surgery. That the mandatory tissue review is missing from your medical record is called negligence. If it is against the law in your state, the missing tissue and the missing tissue report are criminal offenses. Their conspicuous absence denotes a coverup.

It is illegal to cut out your genital tissue and toss it in the trash. You can forgive a mistake of the mind. You can forgive a mistake of the hand. But you cannot forgive a "mistake" of the heart. This is not a poor result. This is not botched surgery. This is mal-intent. This is premeditated savage surgery and criminal rape with a knife.

Rape with a phallus is far kinder. You are awake and can fight. You know what is happening. You still have your sex organs. You owe no money. You owe no thanks. And it's called what it is: a crime.

The investigators knew the law. The attorneys knew or should have known the law. They may be responsible to you for legal malpractice, just as your doctors are responsible to you for medical malpractice and criminal assault. Because of the fraud, battery, concealment, and conspiracy, your statute of limitations begins the day of discovery. Your day of discovery is the date of this letter. Fraud commands triple damages. If a gynecologist refuses to certify your case as malpractice and bills you for that "opinion," file a fraud, conspiracy, and obstruction of justice suit against that gynecologist. Then file a battery suit instead of a malpractice suit against all of your surgeons.

They mutilated your body. They messed up your mind. They crushed your spirit. They broke your heart. They carved you into a sexual zombie and created a monster within you. Then they deny -- and relish -- your suffering.

This letter of truth now deals a deathblow to denial.

For the sake of women everywhere, cry out and let your voice be heard. Let your rage burst into action. Expose your perpetrators as the compulsive sexual preditors they are. Pursue any and every medical, legal, social, emotional, spiritual, financial, educational, political, and legislative remedy. The world is a better place for all your efforts and I applaud you. If we had a thousand more like you, it would be heaven on earth and safe for all the world.


Eileen Marie Wayne, M.D.

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